I don’t know what Wasserloch means, and I have no idea what the hell they’re saying in this video, but it’s priceless anyway. I almost pissed myself laughing the first time I watched it, but then, I thought the last post was funny too!
Here’s another one I got, but I’ll just link to the YouTube video instead. This is only funny if you’re immature like me 
Ok, I’ve got about a billion emails from the past couple years sitting in my Outlook Express taking up space. Every time I close it Outlook wants to compress my emails and that gets really annoying, so I guess it’s time to delete them….
The only problem is some of them are just too good to delete, so I thought I’d stick ‘em up on here. That way I can always come back and read them, and if there’s actually anyone reading this, you can read them too.
I’ve got lots, so I’ll be doing this for the next few weeks. I’m sure you’ve seen a lot of them before, but some of them are so good they’re worth looking at again. Plus I need to clean out my inbox.
Here’s the first one. It’s not the best, it just happens to be first in the list. Enjoy!
Why ARE Men Happier?
Men Are Just Happier People–
What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas
station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000…. Tux rental-$100 !!!!People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A 5-day vacation requires only one suitcase . You can open all of your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes = one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter what how your legs look. You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife. You have the freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier.
I love Dana Carvey. He can do no wrong in my eyes. Chopping Broccoli is definitely one of my favorite things he’s ever done, next to the turtle in Master of Disguise.
The Wizard of Oz is perhaps one of my most favourite movies of all time. I also love to watch American Chopper. If you haven’t seen either one, then you’ll have no clue what this post is about. For those of you that have…am I on to something here or what?
I can’t help but think that the Cowardly Lion looks suspiciously like Paul Teutul Sr. from Orange County Choppers (OCC).
(Warning: This post is gross!)
Being hung over and having two sick kids is not fun.
Getting home at four in the morning is not something I’ve done in many years. Going out to the bar and dancing is also not something I’ve done in many years. I’m sure any other 24 year olds will think I’m a loser, but I don’t care. I like to stay in and curl up on the couch with a movie, a good book, or my PS2 (yeah I know I’m way behind the times).
Anyway, after arriving home at 4 a.m., I only got a couple hours of sleep until the kids woke up.
I’m not sure how I managed to drag my hungover ass out of bed, but I did. And I was greeted by two very poopy diapers. I won’t go into too many details, except for the fact that I had to clean it off the floor about three times before we even ate lunch.
After we ate, I was getting the kids ready for their nap and I was thinking things were going too smoothly when suddenly Morgan crapped all over the floor in her bedroom. It looked like someone spilled an extra large chocolate milkshake all over the floor.
That’s about the point that I had a mini-nervous breakdown. I had to call my mom and complain and feel sorry for myself until I calmed down. Then I got to work scrubbing the poop out of the floor yet again.
I know I should be enjoying my kids at this age, but I really can’t wait until they can both clean up their own crap!
I think I should change the name of this blog to poop.com. That would be more relevant.
Since my son was born, he’s always been a spitter-upper. I never bought any nice outfits for him because he’d always spew his formula all over them.
Now that he’s almost a year old, he’s getting out of that stage….or so I thought.
Since the kids have had the flu, I’ve been walking around stepping in puddles of puke all over the house. He’s so quiet when he does it, and he goes right back to playing so I don’t even notice until I step in it with my bare foot.
That cold squishy feeling in between my toes is not exactly pleasant.
It’s a good thing these carpets are being replaced in the spring.
Between all the pooping and puking, my house isn’t smelling all that pleasant either. It’s time to break out the Glade Scented Candles. Two in each room. (If anyone ever does a search for poop and puke, I’m sure this blog will pop up in the results somewhere.)
Aside from all the negativity, Joey said his first word yesterday. He was crawling around looking for me and when he couldn’t find me he called “Mommy”. Talk about a tear jerker. I’d go through another week of the vomit and diarrhea just to hear that again. It was so precious!
My life has been nothing but puke and poop these past few days. My kids by the way, not me!
They both have had the flu and with that of course comes the vomiting and diarrhea. Ahh, the joys of being a single mother! Cleaning up puke from the supper table, cleaning up puke off the bathroom floor, cleaning up puke from the beds, the carpet and off hands, faces and feet. Washing every article of clothing and every blanket and pillowcase. Changing dirty diapers every twenty minutes because the runs just never stop!
