What would you do if you were an evil overlord?
You know how movies are so predictable? Like, just once - JUST ONCE - I’d like to see a movie where someone coughs and they don’t die or get deathly ill. Well, this is a list of 100 things that this guy would do if he became an evil overlord, instead of what they always do in movies (or books or comics). I found this via http://www.saynotocrack.com. You should bookmark that blog, it’s a gooder.
The Top 100 Things I’d Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord
It’s definitely worth the read. There are a few that made me laugh out loud (because I’m morbid). Here are a few of my favorites.
7. When I’ve captured my adversary and he says, “Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?” I’ll say, “No.” and shoot him. No, on second thought I’ll shoot him then say “No.”
53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says “I’ll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!”, I will say “Oh well” and kill her.
62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.
70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.
75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.
81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.
98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others’ lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.
That reminds me, I’d also like to see a movie where two people of the opposite sex can actually go through the entire thing without becoming love interests. I’m all for happy endings and sappy romances, but seriously! It doesn’t always have to end that way. Now do as I say and go read that list.