CassieGermsheid.com

My 2 year old is being potty trained right now. Our bathroom is tiny so his little potty sits really close to the big one. I went in there this morning after having a large cup of tea and he wanted to come in and be just like mom so we sat down on our respective cans together.

He leaned over to give me a kiss while we were both peeing but he tipped over on his potty and wiped out. He wasn’t hurt so I had a hard time trying not to cackle too loudly.

Then I realized how weird we are.

Joey kissing Eeyore at Halloween

I was bouncing my two year old son on my lap and he says “Spongebob, what are you doing?” I guess I’m not mommy anymore. From now on, I will only be addressed as “Spongebob”.

At lunch time, I was preparing a really healthy and nutritious lunch *wink* when my son asked me for a hug. I got all gushy and gave him a big hug and kiss, then he said it again as he was pointing to the hot dogs I had on the counter. I’m just going to keep pretending that “hog” means “hug” and not “hot dog”.

I figured out how to distract my daughter when she’s upset that she can’t eat something she shouldn’t eat (like Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups at eight in the morning) or when she wants to watch something she shouldn’t watch (like Moulin Rouge!). I just print out some stuff on my printer.

She loves to take the papers out and hand them to me, then I say with exaggerated enthusiasm, “Great job! You are such a big help to mommy” to which she responds with the biggest grin you could ever imagine. It’s like her teeth are going to pop out of the side of her head.

Letting your kids help with stuff, even if they’re not really helping, is the way to go. Trust me on that one.

My landlord showed up this morning with registers and doorknobs. The registers are for the many gaping holes I have in my floor. Since I had maple hardwood put in my house, I’ve had an endless battle of keeping my son from dumping the whole toy box down the furnace ducts.

The doorknobs are for…well, the doors. I’ve been living without bedroom doors for months. Seeing those doorknobs and knowing I’ll have doors soon made me do a really stupid happy dance. Right in front of my landlord. That’s how excited I was.

And finally, it’s time for…

You Know It’s Time To Get A Pedicure When….(said in a loud booming gameshow host voice)

…your daughter touches your bare foot and proceeds to spew out words like “Ewwww! That’s gross!!”.

Morgan: “I wish I could bend my head and eat my back.”

Me: “What!? Why?”

Morgan: “I wish I was a chocolate bar.”

Morgan: “Mommy, we have to go buy that princess CD today.”

Me: “We aren’t buying anything today. Mommy doesn’t have very much money right now.”

Morgan: “Well we can buy some money.”

Me: “Sure, let’s go money shopping.”

Morgan: “OK, but first I have to get dressed.”

I brought my daughter home from her first day at preschool today. She had a blast and can’t wait to go back next week. Now I just have to figure out how to keep my son from going totally apeshit every time I drop her off and pick her up. He always wants to run in and play with all the toys.

Once he got home today and realized he had the house to himself without his big sister beating on him, he was quite content. He was lounging on her couch this morning with his legs crossed, eating fruit and watching TV. That just isn’t physically possible when his sister is around. It’s also a nice chance for the two of us to have mommy and son time which we don’t get very often.

Now they’re both sitting at the table together and yelling and screaming. It’s not mad screaming. It’s just screaming to see who can scream the loudest. Now I’m off to stuff some cotton in my earballs.

My daughter received a package of hair ties awhile ago as a gift. They were large and had sequins on them so she associated them with a princess tiara.

It looks pretty silly, but hey, as long as she believes she’s a princess then it doesn’t matter.

I was driving in the car with my kids and I’ll Keep Your Memory Vague by Finger Eleven came on the radio. My 4 year-old asked what song it was, so I told her “I’ll keep your memory vague.”

She got all worried and cried out “Don’t lose my memory bag!”

It was funny at the time. Guess you had to be there.

I found this picture of my daughter today when I was going through all my old albums. It was taken in July of 2005 so she would have been just over 1 year old. I had taken her out of the tub and let her run around to dry off. She must have sat on this ball with a wet bum and it got stuck.

Since my son was born, he’s always been a spitter-upper. I never bought any nice outfits for him because he’d always spew his formula all over them.

Now that he’s almost a year old, he’s getting out of that stage….or so I thought.

Since the kids have had the flu, I’ve been walking around stepping in puddles of puke all over the house. He’s so quiet when he does it, and he goes right back to playing so I don’t even notice until I step in it with my bare foot.

That cold squishy feeling in between my toes is not exactly pleasant.

It’s a good thing these carpets are being replaced in the spring.

Between all the pooping and puking, my house isn’t smelling all that pleasant either. It’s time to break out the Glade Scented Candles. Two in each room. (If anyone ever does a search for poop and puke, I’m sure this blog will pop up in the results somewhere.)

Aside from all the negativity, Joey said his first word yesterday. He was crawling around looking for me and when he couldn’t find me he called “Mommy”. Talk about a tear jerker. I’d go through another week of the vomit and diarrhea just to hear that again. It was so precious!

Note to self - ALWAYS throw away a dirty diaper as soon as you’re done changing the poopy bum.

Today was a very close call. I had just finished changing my daughter’s crappy bum and my son came flying (crawling at an inhuman speed) out of nowhere and almost smeared the diaper all over himself and my carpet.

You think I would have learned my lesson from the first time that happened!

Another note to self - buy a change table instead of using the living room floor to change diapers.