That cheeky monkey, Tishia Lee, was kind enough to spread the love so I guess I’ll take a crack at:

7 Things You Probably Definitely Don’t Want To Know About Me

1. My kids go to bed way later than they should cause I can’t stop hugging, kissing and squishing them. They’re like human teddy bears.
2. I have an obsession with writing out lists. If you stacked up all the lists I’ve made in the past year, I’d be sent to prison for murdering an entire forest.
3. If I’m deprived of chocolate for too long, then I come into contact with it again, I’ll go cookie monster style on it. Bits of chocolate will be flying everywhere. One time a piece must have flown onto my couch, so when I sat down later, it melted right onto my butt and I walked around all day with a giant “poop stain”.
4. It takes me an hour to do a load of laundry because I have to fold everything perfectly. If it isn’t folded right, I’ll do it again. My mom folded my laundry for me once when my washer and dryer broke down and I had to take it to her house. When I got home with it, I refolded everything.
5. I am in love with Rachel Brice. Anybody who bellydances will know what I’m talking about.
6. I love to do jigsaw puzzles. The bigger the better. I did a 5000 piece puzzle once and was in heaven. Call me an old fogey, I don’t care. Puzzles rock!
7. I have fat earlobes. Apparently, they’re so fat that I had to have them “shot” twice with the ear piercing gun. So if you want to buy me earrings for Christmas, make sure you get some extra long studs.
8. I jumped up and down and clapped my hands like a complete moron in the post office when my Dreamweaver book arrived. Books make me giddy. Learning Dreamweaver makes me positively immature.

Ah shit, I did 8 things.

Well, the rule is you have to tag 7 more friends, but I don’t have one blogging friend let alone 7, so I think I might let it die here. Or you can participate and leave your link in the comments. I dunno…I suck at memes. Oh wait a sec, I know 2 whole people that might play.

My awesome cutie patootie-ness, JennyJuice

and

The lovely and hilarious rambling chick.

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I’ve posted the thumbnails so you can click on any picture to enlarge it. I think this one is my favourite.

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At lunch time, I was preparing a really healthy and nutritious lunch *wink* when my son asked me for a hug. I got all gushy and gave him a big hug and kiss, then he said it again as he was pointing to the hot dogs I had on the counter. I’m just going to keep pretending that “hog” means “hug” and not “hot dog”.

I figured out how to distract my daughter when she’s upset that she can’t eat something she shouldn’t eat (like Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups at eight in the morning) or when she wants to watch something she shouldn’t watch (like Moulin Rouge!). I just print out some stuff on my printer.

She loves to take the papers out and hand them to me, then I say with exaggerated enthusiasm, “Great job! You are such a big help to mommy” to which she responds with the biggest grin you could ever imagine. It’s like her teeth are going to pop out of the side of her head.

Letting your kids help with stuff, even if they’re not really helping, is the way to go. Trust me on that one.

My landlord showed up this morning with registers and doorknobs. The registers are for the many gaping holes I have in my floor. Since I had maple hardwood put in my house, I’ve had an endless battle of keeping my son from dumping the whole toy box down the furnace ducts.

The doorknobs are for…well, the doors. I’ve been living without bedroom doors for months. Seeing those doorknobs and knowing I’ll have doors soon made me do a really stupid happy dance. Right in front of my landlord. That’s how excited I was.

And finally, it’s time for…

You Know It’s Time To Get A Pedicure When….(said in a loud booming gameshow host voice)

…your daughter touches your bare foot and proceeds to spew out words like “Ewwww! That’s gross!!”.

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I dreamed I was walking through the A&W drive-thru and I had a little bluetooth phone in my ear that nobody else could see. I was talking to my friend as I was waiting in line in the drive-thru and everyone was staring and thinking I was a freak, so I decided “screw it” and went inside, only to be served at the counter by Simon Cowell.

Incidentally, I drank more than my weight in coffee yesterday. I think I’m gonna lay off the caffeine for awhile.

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Mark Wahlberg’s reaction to the video was a little less than mature, but oh well. He’s still smokin’.

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Me: “What!? Why?”

Morgan: “I wish I was a chocolate bar.”

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A) You go to wipe your son’s snotty nose with a Kleenex and you wipe it with your hair instead.

and

B) You go to wipe your son’s poopy butt and your hair gets stuck in it…

Being a mom is awesome, but I didn’t sign up for that.

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Believe it or not, it’s an awesome song to clean to.

Here’s a fan made video of the same song which is actually really good. It kicks the ass of most music videos on Much Music.

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Me: “We aren’t buying anything today. Mommy doesn’t have very much money right now.”

Morgan: “Well we can buy some money.”

Me: “Sure, let’s go money shopping.”

Morgan: “OK, but first I have to get dressed.”

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Once he got home today and realized he had the house to himself without his big sister beating on him, he was quite content. He was lounging on her couch this morning with his legs crossed, eating fruit and watching TV. That just isn’t physically possible when his sister is around. It’s also a nice chance for the two of us to have mommy and son time which we don’t get very often.

Now they’re both sitting at the table together and yelling and screaming. It’s not mad screaming. It’s just screaming to see who can scream the loudest. Now I’m off to stuff some cotton in my earballs.

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